9 Seconds.. Fast or Slow?

As the world changes and evolves, so do our ideas and perceptions of life. In the past century alone, the idea of fast has progressed into a whole new dimension, let alone the past quarter century. With this new pace, society has been whipped into an ongoing effort to redefine instantaneous.

Before I begin, I want to say a few words about my “case in point.” I have chosen a selection of Dane Cook’s stand-up comedy special as seen on Comedy Central. There is swearing in this clip, some of which has been bleeped out. However, if you do not feel comfortable watching the video, I have written out the part of the standup that pertains to the section, excluding the profanity. I do not believe the swearing is imperative to grasping what he is saying nor am I trying to be disrespectful in choosing this segment. I just wanted you to know before you saw it.

Dane Cook Comedy: Beginning at 3:27.

“The DMV, I’m gonna go early. I’m gonna get there at 6:01. You get there and there’s people sleeping in sleeping bags outside. 400 people waiting. Nobody’s talking either. You walk inside and everyone’s just standing there. Everyone is dead quiet, but you know everyone is thinking the same thing. AAAAAHHHH!!!!! GOOOO!!!!! GOOOOO!!!! You know what they should do, when you walk in the front door, they should have somebody hiding and just punch you in the face cause at least after, you’ll be like ‘alright, well waiting in line’s not so bad after the punch in the face. You punched me in the face.’ In the year 3000, everything will be instant. Everything. Just get into a teleporter, ‘bye.’ ‘What do I want for dinner? [he motions that it magically appears]. But the DMV will still take like 9 seconds. ‘9 seconds? Come on! I have to be at work in 3 seconds.’”

The key point that Dane raises up is that we have become accustomed to speed in our lives. Just using the internet as the obvious example, we can now talk to someone across the globe, shop for someone’s birthday, read our mail, pay our bills, and get the latest local news over our lunch break. We have faster cars, faster business transactions, faster relationships; everything is just faster than ever before.

Our society’s entire concept of the word fast has changed. Even in sports where new world records are set across the board, speed has become much faster than before. Bizarre as that sounds, the definition of fast in the 1900s was by far very different than our definition of fast. Dial up internet was the fastest connection of the nineties and is now being replaced with an even faster DSL. The cycle just continues. As soon as the bar is placed, someone is reaching above it.

So what? Just because my internet connection is faster doesn’t mean anything else has changed. That’s where it gets sticky. How do the fast become the fastest and, maybe more importantly, why do we continue to have our newest versions become antiques with a new model coming out faster than we can pay off the old one? Is it our faults as consumers or their scheme as producers to get us to keep buying the newest, fastest model?

Somewhere along the way slow and steady no longer won the race in America. Instead, regardless of any other feature, the fastest tool gets to be America’s new “it” to have. That idea must have come from somewhere? Americans didn’t just go to bed one night and wake up wanting the fastest thing they could get their hands on. These items came from economic powers that play an integral role in our American ideologies. We are a free market, or capitalist, society. This plays into creating a quicker-paced society; however, there’s no way a company would make something at high speed if we did not want to buy the next fastest thing.

In this way, speed is not only a part of American ideology, but it has become hegemonic. As Americans, we now expect a certain pace or rhythm. It’s ‘common sense’ or a discourse: “values and identities are contained, prevented or perhaps encouraged by the day-in, day-out practices and (often unspoken) rules” (126). Like all hegemonic ideas, we don’t even question the concept. When the internet takes longer than several minutes to load up, we find ourselves highly inconvenienced. If it’s out for a day or two, there’s practically a riot. This is all because the powerful companies have tapped into the internet’s power so that we, internet savvies who want to have the world at our fingertips, can use it. “Hegemony is a lived process” and without the fast paced internet within reach we feel like we cannot survive. By integrating speed into society huge companies and the masses have worked together to change the definition of fast. And in the year 3000 when we are standing in the DMV we can look back and remember those days where it took way longer than just 9 seconds.